The Iraq-o-meter is keeping track of things in Iraq. They also have this quote from Bush 1 on 'Why we didn't remove Saddam':

While we hoped that popular revolt would topple Saddam, we did not wish to see the breakup of the Iraqi state. Extending the war into Iraq would have incurred incalculable human and political costs. We would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect, rule Iraq. The coalition would instantly have collapsed, the Arabs deserting in anger and other allies pulling out as well. Unilaterally exceeding the U.N.'s mandate would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion route, the U.S. could still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land.

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REM have followed the Beastie Boys and put up a song in response to the war.

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Hanna (who's German) writes:

these RAF "wanted posters" they put up in '71. They must have been around a very long time, I remember seeing them everywhere, and I was born in '72. Maybe I've seen them on telly in German crime series or something, but one way or another they have been around extremely long! And I wonder if this is me being extremely pedantic now, because I really would like to know whether someone left out a word by mistake in the Ben Lewis interview (BBC4), or whether he got it all wrong: 'I think young Germans were very guilty about the past...' I think that's part of the problem many Germans have with their German identity, that they often cannot differentiate between 'being guilty' and 'feeling guilty'. I don't know, but I do think about this sometimes. Did you see that banner on the demo on Saturday, 'For the first time I am proud to be German'? I quite liked that.

And then Sean Connery handing over the Oscar. I watched the 'highlights' on Monday, presented by Jonathan Ross, and I clearly remember Connery saying 'Kasherine Sheta Shonesh' (sorry, I'm not pasting in any special (phonetic or other) symbols anymore on this email software since I kind of joked around with funny Greek, Arabic and whatever the other stuff was, letters in an email, and the software sent three digit numbers instead), and then Ross made a funny(not) comment on it, something like 'how he said her surname, that must have been tough for him' (of course it was slightly more 'subtle' than that). So am I just imagining remembering Connery saying the surname? Or did they put it in afterwards? Very strange.

My guess on the guilt is that he did mean 'felt guilty' rather than 'were guilty'. On Sean Connery, I do know the answer, though. He said her name when reading out the nominations but not when announcing the winner. You can double-check here

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Today's afternoon play is about Edward Gorey.

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This is about how some of Godspeed You! Black Emperor were held for questioning as suspected terrorists in Oklahoma recently. They clearly forgot their 'we are not terrorists' bumper stickers.

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Crammed a lot in yesterday. Started with breakfast and a meeting with James and Dug, then a riverside cycle for a quick burst of Max Beckmann, and Anish Kapoor, at the Tate Modern, a bit of work at the library and a late afternoon seminar (on one way in which children are more logical than adults) followed by a trip to the South Bank to meet Ohna for a bite to eat and the George Piper Dances at the Queen Elizabeth Hall.

I didn't really know Beckmann's work which is lively, theatrical and comic (in style even though not always funny). Time Out says the self-portraits are best, and I agree, but I also liked the bronze sculptures.

Anish Kapoor's 'big plasticky thingy' is really impressive, taking over the big turbine hall and making you feel like climbing in.

The seminar was fascinating. It seems that kids are less likely than grownups to think that 'some cows are mammals' is false. Or, to put it the other way round, grownups are more likely than kids to make the jump to thinking 'some X are Y' must mean 'some X are not Y'. Confused? You will be.

I love the South Bank. The architecture makes you feel like you've time-warped back to a glorious age where there are always lots of people enjoying cultural activity. The people are a good mix of young and old, smart and casual, X and Y. Of course, there's some pattern here - the older ones tend to be smarter. And why are there always busloads of older folk dressed very smartly in ballgowns and evening dress? We weren't convinced that the buses had started their journey in our world. And you never know when a poet laureate will just appear and start signing books next to you.

The dances were great, btw. The first half of the evening was made up of five new pieces by top choreographers accompanied by short films about how they work. At the end of the evening they showed some out-takes and other funny bits. Soon, all dance events will have to have one.

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Salam Pax is fed up with people wondering whether he's genuine or not. I believe him because why not, but you can see why people are suspicious. Here are some reasons:

- it's on the internet where 'you are who you pretend to be'

- he uses a nom de blog

- he doesn't tell us much about himself or other people he refers to

- he writes in English

- his language and style have lots of Western features

I wonder if we should get forensic linguists on the case?

Has anyone been working on stylistic analyses of blogland?

btw, Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare's plays and this is the best evidence.

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This is an interesting article by Stephanie Zacharek at Salon about what counts as a good role for women. She writes:

I'll take a lace-and-leather sexpot over Nicole Kidman's prosthetic-honker performance in 'The Hours' any day of the week.

It hit a spot with me as I wasn't sure what Catherine Zeta-Jones's reference to 'an amazing year for women' meant.

While I'm here, was anyone else irritiated by the way Ms Zeta-Jones lost her surname at the oscars? Sean Connery announced that 'the oscar goes to ... [pause] ... Catherine' (possibly confusing Kathy Bates for a moment) and no-one mentioned her surname again. Was this a coronation ceremony or something?

I liked how Xan Brooks described 'Zeejay''s award:

6.40pm: Heavily pregnant and orange-skinned, Catherine Zeta-Jones steps up to collect the best supporting actress award for her turn in Chicago. Zeejay thanks husband Michael Douglas and confesses that she loves everyone (literally, everyone) in her native Swansea. In the audience, Douglas is most satisified. It looks like the cash he recently spent on that full-page advert in Variety, bigging up his wife's performance, was money well spent.

You'll notice Salon wants you to pay to read their stuff now, btw. You can always pay one day at a time by viewing a 15-second commercial with the option of muting the sound. I found that the sound of 21st-century commercialism blended rather well with Godspeed.

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Nothing gets you going in the morning like a bit of Godspeed You Black Emperor. Somehow 'The Dead Flag Blues' off of 'F#A#Oo' really hits the spot at the moment.

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Actually, I guess I'd like to watch a documentary about the Baader-Meinhoff group. I wonder if I can get access to BBC Four by the time this is aired in April?

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Saw another film last night that not many people will be getting to see. Baader is a fictional movie about the Baader-Meinhof group of which only one print is in existence. Vertigo brought that print to London for one screening last night. I don't know when or if it will be screened again.

There were a lot of good things about the film but it left me a bit unsatisfied. The director said it was deliberately fictional and not attempting to present 'the truth'. On the other hand, it was about real people and some of the scenes were based on what he had found out about them. What disappointed me, though, was that I wasn't really sure what the film was supposed to do to me beyond asking me to imagine a person who was like the fictional Baader.

Found a new late drinking venue after the screening. Do you think it will be sad when they finally scrap the licensing laws and there's nothing special about knowing where you can get a drink after midnight?

Came home and watched half the oscars, which was kind of an opposite extreme from a one-print no-budget arty movie. Steve Martin was funny and not afraid to be offensive. I'm glad some of the celebs didn't chicken out from saying something about Bush and Iraq and everything. I don't know how representative it is, but the main emotions the war is causing in people I've been coming across are sadness and depression.

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After joining in on the beginning of the last one, we took the other option on Saturday and went straight to Hyde Park for the main part of the demo. I don't know how many hundred thousand were there (I think people think somewhere between 100,000 and 200,000) but it was pretty impressive. The last time, the kids seemed to be a bit unclear about numbers but on Saturday they were seriously impressed when they got on my shoulders and looked at all of the people. Sadly, the photos they took from there didn't come out.

This time we managed to do the whole thing without the kids declaring war on each other.

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ZNet just sent me an essay by Chomsky which sketches some of the reasons why we should be more than just a little bit worried at the moment.

I'm still quite sickened by the crude 'arguments' put forward by the Bush-Blair people in support of their war, so I'm grateful for the continuing protests. A journalist on the radio yesterday was suggesting to a Parliament Square protestor that they should go home because the war has now happened and so it can't be stopped. But I think it's important that we try to keep people aware of the way they brought this about, including their constant self-contradictions, the fact that the war is illegal, and the lack of international support for it.

And what are we meant to think of the US claims that their 'coalition of the obedient' keeps growing? According to this, Ari Fleischer is impressed by the support from 'countries of every race and faith'. Apparently they have 27 trillion dollars worth of GDP supporting them, or 35 countries.

Another statement said that 30 countries are publicly in support and 15 are secretly telling the US they support them while publicly pretending not to. Thank goodness for the defenders of openness and democracy B-(

Is there a word for when you've taken a bit of chewing gum out of your mouth for a minute while you make a quick phone call because you don't think it would be cool to be chewing away during the conversation and the conversation goes on a bit longer than you thought it would so the gum gets all sticky on your fingers and you can't get it off so you get an old tissue out of the bin and wipe it with that so you spend the rest of the day with bits of tissue paper stuck to your finger and thumb?

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I've just signed up for eat more words even though I'm not sure what it's offering.

Still, it's only $10 and if you can't trust Caterina, who can you trust?

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Last night, I became one of the few people in the world to have seen Chunky Monkey, a mental movie which was shot three years ago and has been involved in litigation and re-editing ever since. It is incorrect in many ways but the main problems had to do with the main character's fantasy of performing anal sex with Julie Andrews using Chunky Monkey ice cream as a lubricant while she sings 'The hills are alive...' For some reason, there were objections from Unilever (owners of Ben & Jerry's) and the estate of Rodgers and Hammerstein. The film was a lot of fun but I don't know when it will ever be screened anywhere. I got to see it because Lawrence got me into a screening at the Cobden Club which is a sort of Groucho-like establishment in W10. We did a little bit of schmoozing before nipping off for a quieter drink at the Golborne.

Cycling involved a few more hiccups. First, I performed my common trick of forgetting where I was going and cycling halfway to Soho before remembering where I was actually meant to be going. Then I decided to use the canal through Camden only to find they've blocked part of it off. It was nice while it lasted, though. After the pub, some major police activity meant I had to make a great long detour before getting round to my bike again. It was in one piece but somebody had adjusted the front wheel slightly for me. They must have thought the quick release lever operated the D-lock as well as the wheel.

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http://www.moveon.org/vigil/

The language hat discusses more nonsense about click languages, this time from the NY Times.

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This is another article by George Lakoff on metaphors used to justify the war. My only quibble is that I'm not sure about his explanation for why the facts don't prevent (some) people from thinking the war is 'just' or 'legal'.

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Had an enjoyable cup of camomile tea with Mark yesterday as he passed through London on his way home. My first face-to-face meeting with a linguablogger

(Enjoyable not just for the tea, of course)

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Someone's being cheeky:

------- Forwarded message follows -------

Hope I'm not offending anyone...

1. Go to google.com 2. Search for 'french military victories' 3. Click the 'I'm feeling lucky' button

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Some people thought the Guardian's cricket journalist had seriously lost the plot, btw. In fact, this is just the kind of thing those crazy Guardian people do. The Guardian's own online blog had a post about it on the day.

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You don't have to be into cricket to enjoy this

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Apoa took these photos at our most local candlelit vigil last night.

Shepherd's Bush scared me (it often does, actually). Gangs of cyclists without lights were charging around all over the place, scaring pedestrians on narrow pavements and arguing with each other. I noticed quite a few bits of bikes chained to railings. I was relieved to find all of my bits still there at the end of the night.

Jonathan Richman gave a most impressive multilingual performance, although to be honest I don't know how accurately he was speaking all of the languages he used. The Hebrew bit might well have been just nonsense syllables with a few velar fricatives (correct me if that's not the right term) thrown in here and there. Still, he was great. He made it feel like he was performing in a little room rather than in front of 1,000 people (I'm guessing). My favourite bits were when he would step away from the mike to say something. First, you were surprised that you could hear him and then you realised that that meant everyone in the place was listening in silence. He was accompanied just by Tommy Larkins on drums, who was also most impressive, btw.

Near the end, he said he'd give us just one verse about the war. The words were:

Not in my name in Baghdad Not in my name any more Cos the children We'll be killin Did not put anyone in power

Then he went straight into another of his 'wild and crazy' songs about his night in the lesbian bar with Pablo Picasso warning his ex-girlfriend about the possible drug issues surrounding her new boyfriend, or something like that. He didn't do anything like Road Runner, Ice-Cream Man, That Summer Feeling, etc. etc. But he did do Stop Your Sobbing as a tribute to Ray Davies (since he was in his home town).

On the way home I passed the site of our vigil. It was around midnight and two candles were still burning. Pretty amazing, especially around here.

If you'd like to visit a website about Jonathan Richman, check out this site, aka 'The Abominable Lesbian Vampire Cappuccino Bar in Cyberspace'

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Well, you could say this has been an eventful weekend. Big hair dos on Friday, a birthday party + sleepover for Apoa on Saturday, a square dance for the rest of us (with the grumpiest dance-caller of all time, but still good fun), sun, gardening and a bit of a picnic this afternoon, swimming this evening and all capped off with a candlelit vigil this evening. Our nearest vigil is on an ex-bombsite which is now a 'green space' round the corner, which seems especially appropriate.

But I'm copping out of the peace movement for one night, cos my brother has got a spare ticket for Jonathan Richman...

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Here are some thoughts from Mark:

Entirely agree on your letter about asylum seekers, by the way. I suggested to Conservative ministers a decade ago that they should set quotas for northern towns, universities and employers to fill by inviting migrants if they wished or not. So as to liberalise immigration by freeing it from the Home Office's dark clutches, and to ensure a welcome in receiving communities, by letting them decide for themselves. After all, I think at least a quarter of houses in towns like Preston and Rochdale are empty. A ridiculous waste. More immigrants are exactly what depressed parts of Britain need [they did an enormous amount for my city, Manchester], provided localities get a chance to positively choose that option.

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Get Your War On is out as a book (or maybe just as some pages stuck together, I'm not sure). There was a bit about it in the Guardian on Monday but it doesn't seem to be online. It's published by Soft Skull Press and you can buy it here. The UK distributor is at: 020 8829 3000 or: orders@turn-around.co.uk

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I think I'm adding my name to the bottom of this letter which will be sent to the Guardian and to the immigration minister Beverley Hughes:

As teachers and researchers in linguistics, we wish to object strongly to the language tests for asylum seekers that have been introduced recently ("Language tests to uncover bogus Iraqi asylum seekers", Guardian 12 March). As the eminent linguist Lord Quirk said in the House of Lords in June last year, "placing people on the basis of their accent is more parlour game than forensic science". The government says that "language experts" will conduct the tests. We would like to know what kind of expertise will be called upon, and what qualifications, training and monitoring will be used to select these "experts". We are very doubtful that reliable expertise exists to enable people to identify where a speaker of a language comes from. We also deplore the government's emphasis on "bogus" asylum seekers at a time when an impending war looks likely to create a huge wave of refugees. We call on the government to treat all asylum seekers sympathetically and fairly. Yours sincerely,

The Guardian Report is here and you can find Randolph Quirk's remarks in the Lords here

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Jonathan wrote (a while ago actually):

Obviously it's hell living in Scotland, but one of the good things is Radio Scotland's eclectic music policy, and you can listen to it on the web

There's a good jazz/laid back beats programme called Be-Bop to Hip-Hop (nb the very nice Finnish jazzy/dancy track about 30mins in):

Be-Bop to Hip-Hop

And last night I found myself listening to an hour of bagpipes, and liking it:

pipeline

Now I'm off to sit in a pub and complain about the English

I particularly enjoyed pipeline. 'It ain't Beethoven but it sure bounces'

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Read here about the fantastic idea two republicans had of changing the names of 'french fries' and 'french toast' to 'freedom fries' and 'freedom toast' respectively, thus niftily linking the concepts 'French' and 'freedom' in the minds of people who hear about it.

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The Beastie Boys are top of the pops on blogdex at the moment.

Quite right too. They've put a new song up there for free download. It's called 'In a world gone mad' and, as they say, it's 'not an anti-American or pro-Saddam Hussein statement. This is a statement against an unjustified war'

You can read the lyrics there, too. Here's an extract:

Mirrors, smokescreens and lies

It's not the politicians but their actions I despise

You and Saddam should kick it like back in the day

With the cocaine and Courvoisier

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On the Today programme, I just heard John Humphreys (presenter) talking to Terry Jones (writer and ex-Python) and Ian Hargreaves (journalist) about language. Humphreys introduced the piece by saying that some have said that 'if the first casualty of war is truth, the second is the English language'

Humphreys didn't want to get political. Terry Jones, on the other hand, began by using the word war as an example. In his dictionary, war is a fight between armed people. In this case, the US has forced Iraq to disarm and is now going to bomb them. That's not a war; that's a turkey shoot'. Later, he discussed the use of the phrase 'attack Saddam' to refer to 'bombing hundreds of thousands of innocent people' while Saddam makes himself safe in a bunker somewhere.

Near the end, Humphreys said that while he believed the BBC was non-partisan (polite coughs - or were they giggles? - from the others), they did tend to use the phrase 'collateral damage' rather than 'children being blown to bits'. Hargreaves responded by saying he hoped people would switch off immediately if they did ever do things like that.

You can hear the clip from here if you've got the patience to work out how to get to clip 6 and then move forward to the last fifth (roughly) of it.

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These thoughts from Naomi have inspired quite a bit of discussion about academia among linguabloggers and others.

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Have a look at this then this

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daffodils and hay fever

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Just had breakfast with my brother. On the way out a man with a hangover who was sipping an alka-seltzer at the counter asked Mike if we were father and son or brothers. When I asked which one he had thought was the dad he laughed, pointed to Mike and said 'him!' Which confirms, of course, that he thought I was the aged P.

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I'm so glad I still had the best part of a bike in a bin liner in the shed.

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This reminds me of two things linguists spend a lot of time complaining about: being asked how many languages they speak, and some of those funny myths about language like the one about eskimos having lots of words for snow or people in X remote community (it varies a bit, but the people of the Appalachians are a popular choice) who 'are still speaking Shakespeare's English'

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him, I mean

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Well, I've always been Mr. Super Safe when it comes to things like locking up my bike. But recently I decided to reinvent myself as Mr. Slightly More Casual. So I've just come out of the cafe and found my rear wheel missing.

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Apoa is ten today and I'm sorry to have to tell Fiona that I just gave her the 8 Mile soundtrack as a present. She's been into Eminem for a while but only found out at the weekend that I had all of his CDs guiltily hiding on a grownup shelf. Aidan was a bit surprised to find that I don't think Eminem is the devil. In fact, it seems like there's a bit of a movement to 'kiss his ass' among the middle class chatterers of North London.

Apoa and her mates don't only like him because of the 'plop-plop poo-poo' value of the swearing and she does say that there are some of the songs she doesn't like ('Kim', unsurprisingly, for example). She is currently setting her CD player to wake her with the 'public service announcement' announcing that the artiste does not make a defecatory donation what the listener might think if him, nay! he has said artiste's permission to fellate said artiste, and that the purchaser of this musical compact disc has, in the act of purchasing, performed an anal osculatory act in so doing (or words to that effect).

Diane (who has a 14 year old daughter) thinks it's important not to take too much of an interest in your kid's musical experiences when they're teenagers. So I'll have to train myself not to try to 'own' her music (or to giggle too much at the 'plop-plops')

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Here's what the LSA (Linguistic Society of America) just resolved:

At the 77th Annual Meeting of the Linguistic Society of America held 2-5 January 2003 in Atlanta, Georgia, the members attending the business meeting approved the following resolution opposing discrimination and political sanctions against scholars on the basis of their ethnicity, religion or country of origin. The resolution arose in response to sanctions in several European countries against scholarly collaboration with Israeli or Jewish linguists and other academics. These moves are intended to protest Israel's treatment of the Palestinians but target individuals irrespective of their personal stance on the issues involved. The text of the resolution follows:

Whereas there have been calls for and instances of boycotts of individual scholars (faculty, students and administration) and their universities, in response to the actions and policies of the governments of the countries or regions where these scholars work, or to the scholars' religion or ethnicity,

Let it be resolved that

The Linguistic Society of America opposes all discrimination and political sanctions against scholars in any aspect of professional life (such as employment, publication, promotion, conference participation, educational exchanges, and research collaboration), where such discrimination is based not on the conduct of the scholars themselves, but solely on the scholars' religion or ethnicity, or on the actions or policies of the countries or regions in which these scholars live and work, or of which they are citizens. Such boycotts violate the principle of free scientific interaction and cooperation, and they constitute arbitrary and selective applications of collective punishment.

This resolution will be sent to the full membership of the Society for their consideration.

I think they're right. I might think differently if it were part of a larger boycott that had had more discussion, especially with the people it's designed to help. But boycotting individuals in this context seems to me to do more harm than good.

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Hi Billy,

I just wanted to let you know how much I've enjoyed browsing through your thoughts of the last few months. I'm an old friend of your Mum's and of Kim's, I think we met briefly at Bessie and Ted's wedding - I was the one with the 3 children who all managed to disgrace themselves in equal quantities that night for one reason or another!

It was the David Bowie dream which prompted me to write - the dream to the tune of Starman? I thought that was just priceless - "chasing after me, eating up my tea" - just wonderful.

My daughter Natalie has discovered Bowie at the tender age of 13, (you still have to encounter 13 from your two girls) - beware - tonight I have been called a bitch and a coward but "knock off the a r d" Good eh? And they talk about the joys of parenthood. Yes, I do remember your two charming little girls, with small red tartan kilts and thick wooly tights, girls who were impeccably behaved at Grandma's wedding, this is why I am writing to warn you........ ....... beware the ides of teenage years, when it all begins, you do wonder if your own puberty has only just gone. Small snippets of guilt rear their ugly heads as you remember vaguely snarling at parents in a similar (albeit with curbed language) fashion. Can you not steer the dear child towards the Beatles or something similar?

Good luck! And if you are talking to your Mum or to Michael tell them Fiona said hi!

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